What’s Goldilocks got to do with sticky habits?

 

I’d done it, started exercising again regularly. After the kids were in bed I would go running. Started small, and build up to longer.

 

And then after a few months… I stopped.

 

Have you ever experienced that, when you’ve started to do something, and then just stopped for no reason. AFTER putting in all the work to make it a habit? 

 

How do you keep the motivation going? You’ve started strong… now what next?

 

A surprising road block a lot of people face when they start a new habit… is that it becomes a habit.

 

What??

 

Isn’t that the goal?

 

 

Hold up! Before you go any further, I wanted to check in an see if you caught last weeks blog post, Empty Resolutions or Achievable Goals? If not, you can check it out right here.

It's basically the step that comes before what we are talking about here, so you should definitely check it out 😉

Or even better, you can get onto my mailing list and get these delivered directly to your inbox!

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Okay, now that we're all caught up, let's get back into it!

 

 

It’s true, it is. But something that routinely derails a good habit is something very simple – boredom. It becomes routine and it gets boring. 

 

What’s funny about this is that the closer we get to achieving our goals, the stronger the boredom can become. And while a lot of us think this must be an issue of being comfortable. That people don’t like change, and that’s why we get stuck.

 

But do you want to know the truth? You might think you don’t like change. But your brain? LOVES change. Loves it. Because change is stimulating.

 

Ok, so what do we do to keep from getting bored of our new habit?

 

How do we stay focused?

 

According to James Clear, author of Atomic Habits, something called the Goldilocks rule applies. Nursery rhymes and fairy tales all have a hidden subtext, right? Well let me share this one with you.

 

The Goldilocks Rule.

 

Humans experience peek levels of satisfaction when they work on tasks of just manageable difficulty. Not too hard, not too easy, just right. 

 

Interesting.

 

One of the examples James Clear uses really helped me see this clearly. Imagine you are playing tennis with a professional tennis player, like Roger Federer or Serena Williams. While that would be a pretty amazing experience, for most of us, it wouldn’t be much of a tennis match. It’s going to get old, fast, when you lose every point. 

 

Unless hey, who am I to assume. You might be a tennis prodigy ready thing. 

 

Or, playing with your child who’s four years old. It’s cute, and fun. But if a real tennis game you are looking for, it’s going to get pretty boring winning every match so easily.

 

(for some reason the second analogy is a lot weirder then the first!) 

 

But if you play against someone who is roughly matched. Where you have a chance to win, but it’s not a sure thing. And you will only win if you play your very best. That is where you will perform at your best.

 

You are challenged just enough to stay interested, but within your ability enough to succeed. 

 

Not too hard. Not too easy. Just right. 

 

Back to your habits

 

Now, bring that back to your new habit. That tiny part of your goal. 

 

When you’ve accomplished that small goal, and formed that habit. When it starts to become comfortable, that’s when it’s time to nudge it out a bit further. That might mean you’re ready for the next step in your new habit. Maybe you’re going to try a more challenging class at the gym. Experiment with a new recipe. Walk a new route, or add an extra block. 

 

It might not be a physical challenge. You might be able to now add an additional task for your work or study. Or maybe reach out to one new person to expand your network or grow your social circle. 

 

Do you have a habit that’s become a bit boring? Or, so hard it’s demoralizing? How do you think you can make it ‘just right’? 

 

 

 

Would you like a bit more help developing those habits? If yes, then I would like to invite you to book a free 50-minute session. It’s called The Wellbeing Roadmap, and it’s designed to get you on the path from where you are to where you want to be.

Simply.

and it’s free 😉

 

 

Kristine Peter
Kristine Peter