10 Tips for a Self-care Mindset
Self-care- is it a set of activities, or is it really a mindset?
There is something about the phrase ‘self-care’ the elicits visions of being pampered at a spa or finding calm and balance at a yoga retreat. Alone, or at least not being bothered by anyone, in peaceful meditation.
According to most of the posts and meme’s I see on social media, this is what self-care looks like. It can make you question ‘should I be spending my rare and precious me-time on those activities? Am I not looking after myself because I don’t want to meditate? Or because I would prefer to go for a hike then get my nails done?” Does the idea of dedicating significant time and money do something you do not particularly value actually feel a bit stressful? But are you just that little bit afraid to say things out loud, for fear the self-care police will come to declare you in need of some silence and solitude?
Hmmm, actually that last bit about silence and solitude does sound a bit appealing…..
That is precisely why I sat down to write this list about self-care. Please don’t mistake me – there is nothing wrong with spas and yoga retreats. In fact, for many people, they are the key to finding their own inner balance and happiness. However, I would say that we can get a bit off track with what self-care really is.
Self-care is not a specific activity, even one as relevant as meditation. Self-care is a mindset, a dedication to addressing and prioritizing personal needs. Self-care can be as simple as remembering to take care of yourself, with the same level of importance you would place on those you care for, like a partner, children, or friend. Because we are all individual, what we need in regards to self-care differs, and can change within an individual throughout their life.
Self-care is not all or nothing. You are at the yoga retreat or not. It is daily intentional time scheduled to your needs (not your chores), be there fitness, fun, for time with others, for time on your own. While this might seem out of reach for some (busy parents, I can feel you shaking your collective heads), setting aside a small amount of time is a great start, with a simple list of things you can do to help create a mindset of self-care.
This list will be different for everyone, but here are a few of my suggestions:
10 Tips for a Self-care Mindset
1 Start with that to-do list. No, don’t tackle it. Just pick one item. The lurker. That one thing that has been on your list FOREVER but never seems to reach the top. Maybe because there is always something ‘more important.’ Or maybe it’s something you just really don’t want to do. Start there, and get just that one item off your list. You will feel amazing.
2 Mini-declutter. Yes, that too is everywhere these days (pun intended), how to be more minimal, how to declutter. And if you are anything like me, it just has not entirely made it to the top of the to-do list! While becoming minimalist is a pretty significant task, cleaning out your desk drawer is not. Or on a closet. Or a kitchen cupboard. Just stick to one thing at a time. It will take time, but it will be a lot less overwhelming. And having fewer physical things to contend with and less clutter allows you to focus your time and energy on things that are significantly more fun and rewarding!
3 Fix it. What is one thing that has been bothering you? That little irritation that you are pretending doesn’t bother you? The door that squeaks. The stain on the carpet. That box of broken toys that don’t get played with. Fix it if it can be fixed, donate or recycle if you no longer need it, but if it is not serving it’s purpose either fix it or get it out of your home.
4 Challenge your mind in routine tasks. Do you go to the same places every day, or several times a week? Work? School? Driving the kids to their various activities? Try taking a different route. It challenges the brain and forces you off autopilot.
5 Reach out. Is there someone that you have been meaning to respond to? That you owe a quality email or phone call to? That you have not spoken to in a while, and wish you had not fallen out of touch with? Stop thinking about it, and just send them a message. When we feel we are too time poor to correspond with the quality we can put it off for far too long. Start the conversation today, and see where it goes.
6 Try something out of your comfort zone! Now, this does not have to be skydiving or bungee jumping (however that would be pretty cool too!). Maybe make a new friend and introduce yourself to that mum at the playground who looks friendly. Or join a new group in your community, one where you don’t know anyone. Or do a Facebook live to connect with all those hundreds of friend you have! Every time we challenge our comfort zone it grows, and soon those things that used to scare us are just part of daily life.
7 Social media purge. Unfollow, remove, unlike, or block anything or anyone on social media that does not bring value to your life. If you don’t like what you see, you do not have to see it. While doing this – search out some new people, pages, or groups to join or follow. That uplift you. There is a lot of great stuff out there, you just have to stop being sidetracked by the garbage!
8 Un-plug. If you are able to (there are some pretty legit reasons why some people cannot) turn off your phone or put it on flight mode overnight. Being constantly reachable can wreak havoc on our state of mind, not to mention the distraction of constant notifications. If you can’t turn off your phone, try turning off the data – both wifi and mobile. Then your phone will still work – as a phone. See if you can leave it ‘up-plugged’ for the first hour you get up in the morning.
9 Do one thing, for no other reason than because it makes you happy. That’s it.
10 Start or re-engage in a hobby. The key is that it should be something not related to your work…. Or your children. What? I know. Give it a go.
These were 10 simple examples of things you can start to schedule into your daily routine, to create a self-care mindset. No matter how busy you are, taking a few minutes every day to do something for you, that addresses your primary needs, will go a long way towards your overall health and wellness.
And remember; there is always the spa and that yoga retreat. Have fun 🙂
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References (and more information)
Feature image Photo by Max Vertsanov
