10 Lessons I Learned From Having — and Then Losing — My Mentor

Her legacy continues to inspire me.

Kristine Peter, Integrative Nutrition Health Coach

Full essay first posted on Thrive Global, August 12, 2019

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Finding and losing my mentor

Do you have a mentor? Or had one in the past? A person who has been an inspiration, or had a major impact on your life? A mentor might be a person you have a close personal relationship with. Or they could be someone you’ve never met, but their work and the impact they make has influenced you from afar. Finding my mentor taught me many incredible lessons. Losing my mentor has been a process of making the commitment to honour her legacy.

I was recently asked what the difference was between a mentor and a coach. It’s an excellent question. We are in an age where personal and professional development is a booming industry. A coach has become a professional role that has moved outside the sporting area. Professional coaches exist for every profession, discipline, or activity imaginable. Usually they are in one of four categories. Health, wealth, relationships, or personal development.

Having a coach is usually a professional relationship. You can read more about what the role of a health coach is here. A coach comes into a relationship with a beginners mind. They work beside an individual or group to help them set and achieve their goals.

What is a mentor?

It was not until I had one that I understood what a mentor was. Rather, what a mentor was to me. While a coach’s role is to be a guide on the side, a mentor might be someone you look up to. Aspire to be like, in some capacity. With a coach, they’re there to guide you from where you are, to where you want to be. A mentor might do this as well. But you would have identified them as a mentor because some element of where they are is where you want to be.
 
In this context, a mentor differs from someone you are in a supportive relationship with. A family member, a business colleague, or accountability partner.  Like a mentor, they’re invested in you and your success. And a mentor  can be these things as well. Yet a mentor is also someone who is teaching you the path they followed. They are helping you learn the tools that they have to teach. It might be in person, or it might be via their work, writing, speaking, or other form of content you are able to access.

A mentor can be from afar

Mentors do not have to be people we know personally. In example, I count Arianna Huffington a mentor of mine, although we have never met. I am inspired my her message and teachings. I also look at some of her professional accomplishments as ones in line with my own. Learning what she has to teach has helped me move forward in my business with passion and integrity. When she shared an essay I wrote, about my mentor, it was profoundly moving! I was grateful for the support and endorsement. But also, it was validating coming from someone I regarded as a mentor.

 

 

What I Learned from having and then losing my mentor

The mentor I wrote about was my aunt Lynne Dennis Smith.  Regardless of if you knew then personally or not, losing a mentor can have a profound impact on your life.  I found focusing on what my mentor had taught me has been powerful in helping me grieve her loss.

What losing my mentor taught me was the best way I could honour her legacy was to live the lessons she taught me.

 

You can read the full essay here on Thrive Global, 10 Lessons I Learned From Having — and Then Losing — My Mentor. Her legacy continues to inspire me.

 

 

 

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Kristine Peter
Kristine Peter